Little-Acorn
09-02-2008, 11:34 AM
Quite a few of the far-left kooks are showing great concern over the pregnancy of Gov. Sarah Palin's unmarried teenage daughter, despite their own candidate's statement that discussions of Palin's family should be out of bounds. The leftists have apparently made a recent discovery that such pregnancy out of wedlock was a BAD thing, and had an even-more-recent revelation that the parents of said teenager are culpable in the problem.
May I suggest a solution that should allay the concerns of the leftists involved?
Sarah Palin should bundle the pregnant unmarried teenager into her car, get stinking drunk, and drive the car off a handy unfinished bridge, into deep water. I believe there is a suitable bridge somewhere nearby. Palin should then swim to the surface after quietly locking all car doors, and wait ten hours for the effects of her alcohol binge to wear off before calling any authorities who might have been able to help the drowning girl.
She can later claim it was an accident, and that she was in shock and not thinking coherently when she failed to either rescue her daughter or summon help during those critical first moments. There is well-known historical precedent for such an unfortunate sequence of events, and it is well established that the car's driver/swimmer will be fully exonerated, without even any charges being brought.
The leftists won't have a problem with the fact that the drowned girl was pregnant (unlike a previous historic example) - they have long maintained that the unborn baby is merely a blob of protoplasm, not human. Think of it as a hydro-based abortion, and they will have no objection at all.
This modest proposal should satisfy the leftists in all ways (did I miss any?). As for Sarah Palin, she might not make it to the executive office she currently is running for. But the same historical precedent indicates that she can have a fine career as a U.S. Senator, for the rest of her life. Not a bad compromise, wouldn't you say, all things considered? After all, unlike the Executive branch, there is no term-limits condition on Senate membership.
And then the leftists can begin observing their own candidate's request that Palin's family be out-of-bounds for political discussion. Due in no small part to the fact that there will be fewer controversial members of Palin's family left to discuss.
Problem solved, and at minimal cost (again according to historical precedent). The leftists had no particular problems with this procedure the last time it was tried. Why would they object now?
May I suggest a solution that should allay the concerns of the leftists involved?
Sarah Palin should bundle the pregnant unmarried teenager into her car, get stinking drunk, and drive the car off a handy unfinished bridge, into deep water. I believe there is a suitable bridge somewhere nearby. Palin should then swim to the surface after quietly locking all car doors, and wait ten hours for the effects of her alcohol binge to wear off before calling any authorities who might have been able to help the drowning girl.
She can later claim it was an accident, and that she was in shock and not thinking coherently when she failed to either rescue her daughter or summon help during those critical first moments. There is well-known historical precedent for such an unfortunate sequence of events, and it is well established that the car's driver/swimmer will be fully exonerated, without even any charges being brought.
The leftists won't have a problem with the fact that the drowned girl was pregnant (unlike a previous historic example) - they have long maintained that the unborn baby is merely a blob of protoplasm, not human. Think of it as a hydro-based abortion, and they will have no objection at all.
This modest proposal should satisfy the leftists in all ways (did I miss any?). As for Sarah Palin, she might not make it to the executive office she currently is running for. But the same historical precedent indicates that she can have a fine career as a U.S. Senator, for the rest of her life. Not a bad compromise, wouldn't you say, all things considered? After all, unlike the Executive branch, there is no term-limits condition on Senate membership.
And then the leftists can begin observing their own candidate's request that Palin's family be out-of-bounds for political discussion. Due in no small part to the fact that there will be fewer controversial members of Palin's family left to discuss.
Problem solved, and at minimal cost (again according to historical precedent). The leftists had no particular problems with this procedure the last time it was tried. Why would they object now?