...on the Role of Fathers.

[darin]

Do you agree or disagree with this statement:


When a child grows up without a father, there is an empty place where someone must stand, providing an example of character and confidence. If no one takes that place, a child can live in a shadow all their lives. Their emptiness is often filled by despair, by anger, or even violence. This commonplace tragedy has become the central problem of our society, it has caused an epidemic of secret suffering. But if someone takes that place, a child can escape the shadows. He can find confidence and courage and conscience.

I think he nailed it. As much as single mothers and even married mothers (with unavailable husbands) try, there's something a child gains from a loving Father which is vital to that child's development.

As much as a Mother's nurturing is required, a Father's inspiration and example is needed. It 'should' go without saying; although too often our society feels the equality of Men and Women dictates they are in fact 'the same'.

The rest of his speech:

http://www.beckys-place.com/largentfame.html

[manu1959]

i call bullshit......i grew up without a father.....you find a male figure to emulate .... for me it was my best friends dad, my soccer coach and my two uncles....

[darin]

Emphasis Added:



If no one takes that place...

[Kathianne]

i call bullshit......i grew up without a father.....you find a male figure to emulate .... for me it was my best friends dad, my soccer coach and my two uncles....

I agree with fathers in general being important. Problem is when they are NOT a good role model and not interested in their kids. I blame myself for my unwise choice, then again, I was able and lucky that there were many I had to step up and help my boys. My dad and brother were their earliest role models, even before my ex was 'gone.'

When I returned to university, made some friends that mentored my boys through jr. high. In high school coaches also became important. My brother still helps out, even though they are in 20's. They miss their grandfather in ways most their age would miss their father. One keeps his golf clubs in his room, though my son doesn't golf.

[Nukeman]

Do you agree or disagree with this statement:



I think he nailed it. As much as single mothers and even married mothers (with unavailable husbands) try, there's something a child gains from a loving Father which is vital to that child's development.

As much as a Mother's nurturing is required, a Father's inspiration and example is needed. It 'should' go without saying; although too often our society feels the equality of Men and Women dictates they are in fact 'the same'.
The rest of his speech:

http://www.beckys-place.com/largentfame.htmlI want to add a little story from my wife on this. We recently took our son to the airport for a trip. she was upset about his leaving. I will say I was sad to see him going for so long since we have not had him around much this summer.

As he was leaving he had to go through the security checkpoint by himself, I found myself ushering him along. He would look back and my wife wanted to bring him back for "just one more hug".

When we finally left my wife made the observation that as a mom she is there to always bring the kids back and its up to the fathers to be there to make sure they are able to go and keep the mothers from holding on too tight... Of course this is just our observation and may not hold true on all families.

[Kathianne]

I want to add a little story from my wife on this. We recently took our son to the airport for a trip. she was upset about his leaving. I will say I was sad to see him going for so long since we have not had him around much this summer.

As he was leaving he had to go through the security checkpoint by himself, I found myself ushering him along. He would look back and my wife wanted to bring him back for "just one more hug".

When we finally left my wife made the observation that as a mom she is there to always bring the kids back and its up to the fathers to be there to make sure they are able to go and keep the mothers from holding on too tight... Of course this is just our observation and may not hold true on all families.

I agree. Another example is to watch most mothers or grandmothers at playground with smaller children. Please note I said 'most', same would hold with generalizations about men. I remember taking my kids, especially when the ratio turned 3:1. I was a wreck. The youngest would always head for where the other two were, including the tall slides; swings in motion. I freaked and was always exhausted by the time we left.

When their dad or another male took them to the park, they'd come home with stories of jumping off equipment, climbing in ways not meant. They had fun and adventure. I never had to take one of my kids to an emergency room when they were alone with me; whoops once, when the 18 month old climbed on top of the refrigerator, got some children's vitamins and split them with his 3 year old sister. Stitches, broken bones, all happened on male watch, but the kids handled it well.

In general women tend to be able to separate easier with daughters at about 18, males then start running into problems. :laugh2: Yes, each have their role.

[Abbey Marie]

...
When we finally left my wife made the observation that as a mom she is there to always bring the kids back and its up to the fathers to be there to make sure they are able to go and keep the mothers from holding on too tight... Of course this is just our observation and may not hold true on all families.

This is true in our family too. It creates a very favorable balance, imo.
I tend to be a real worrier, such that if I was a single mom with a son, I would probably wimpify him. I am sure that many single, yet less overprotective moms, do a fine job though.

An interesting point: does the result change if there is a loving father in the home, but he is very passive and the mom calls the shots?

[Noir]

Well i grew up from 4 to 12 with no mother, and my dad didn't start dating other women till i was 12, and i think i'm fine.

[Mr. P]

...a child can escape the shadows. He can find confidence and courage and conscience.
I agree 100% with that part. But it doesn't take a man in a child's life to do that.

[Dilloduck]

I agree 100% with that part. But it doesn't take a man in a child's life to do that.

no--but some male type parenting doesn't hurt .