gabosaurus
07-13-2008, 12:11 PM
From a forward I got this morning:
BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the
chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified
to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country
gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really
isn't about me.......
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't
realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the
road before it goes
after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What
we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking
on his 'CURRENT'
problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems,
which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having
the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of
life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive
across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.
The chicken is
either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground
here.
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we
have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about
the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against
it.
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You
can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to se ll my eggs
when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any
insider information.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it w ith a
toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not
been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the
plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends,
that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay
too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination
that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like
'the other side'. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as
plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that w as good
enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming
story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
accompl ish its life long dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important doc uments, and
balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the
Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never
cra...#@&&^(C% <mailto:cra...#@&&%5E(C%> ....... reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your
definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
BRITNEY SPEARS
I didn't mean to hit the chicken! I was blinded by all the flashbulbs!
JESSICA SIMPSON
What's a chicken?
DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the
chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified
to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country
gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really
isn't about me.......
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't
realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the
road before it goes
after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What
we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking
on his 'CURRENT'
problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems,
which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having
the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of
life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive
across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.
The chicken is
either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground
here.
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we
have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about
the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against
it.
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You
can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to se ll my eggs
when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any
insider information.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it w ith a
toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not
been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the
plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends,
that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay
too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination
that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like
'the other side'. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as
plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that w as good
enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming
story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
accompl ish its life long dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important doc uments, and
balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the
Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never
cra...#@&&^(C% <mailto:cra...#@&&%5E(C%> ....... reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your
definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
BRITNEY SPEARS
I didn't mean to hit the chicken! I was blinded by all the flashbulbs!
JESSICA SIMPSON
What's a chicken?
DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?