Is Spizters wife at fault?

[Guernicaa]

I think Dr. Laura made a good point the other day on the "Today Show":


You know what, the cheating was his decision to repair what's damaged, and to feed himself where he's starving. But, yes, I hold women accountable for tossing out perfectly good men by not treating them with the love and kindness and respect and attention they need.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/03/11/dr-laura-blames-spitzer_n_90994.html

Thoughts?

[Said1]

Dr. Laura can STFU. Unless she knows them personally, then I'll retract.

[Said1]

Is that you Obama?

[actsnoblemartin]

I agree with dr. laura's point.


I think Dr. Laura made a good point the other day on the "Today Show":



http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/03/11/dr-laura-blames-spitzer_n_90994.html

Thoughts?

[actsnoblemartin]

thats ridiculous. we make judgments about peoples behavior all the time. My behavior, your behavior, everybody's behavior without personally knowing them.

I dont personally know osama bin laden, should i not judge his actions?


Dr. Laura can STFU. Unless she knows them personally, then I'll retract.

[JohnDoe]

I think Dr. Laura made a good point the other day on the "Today Show":



http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/03/11/dr-laura-blames-spitzer_n_90994.html

Thoughts?
I haven't read the article yet Obama, but my first thought was: WTF does doctor Laura know about what went on in the Spitzer household to even make a comment like that, refering to Mrs. Spitzer and as a doctor she SHOULD know better than doing something like that imo!

hahahahahaha! ok, now give! Was she specifically talking about spitzer or was I off base and she was just talking cheating spouses and their wives in general? I don't want to go in to the article....on a dial up service here and everything is sooooooooooo damn slow!

jd

[actsnoblemartin]

your missing the point, read the article.

it talks about women in america (In general), treat their husbands unkind, and then wonder why they cheat, same can be said other way around.

she didnt say its ok to cheat, but she is not an innocent victim.

men cheat, mostly out of not being loved an appreciated.


I haven't read the article yet Obama, but my first thought was: WTF does doctor Laura know about what went on in the Spitzer household to even make a comment like that, refering to Mrs. Spitzer and as a doctor she SHOULD know better than doing something like that imo!

hahahahahaha! ok, now give! Was she specifically talking about spitzer or was I off base and she was just talking cheating spouses and their wives in general? I don't want to go in to the article....on a dial up service here and everything is sooooooooooo damn slow!

jd

[Said1]

thats ridiculous. we make judgments about peoples behavior all the time. My behavior, your behavior, everybody's behavior without personally knowing them.

I dont personally know osama bin laden, should i not judge his actions?


Get a grip. You and Dr. Laura have NO idea what went on in their private lives. All you know is one person cheated and no one really knows why. Perhaps he's a women hating porn addict? That would some how be her fault too, right Martin - not being slutty and dirty enough to satisfy him? That's obviously what he liked the best.

[krisy]

Please. Sometimes Dr. Laura gives good advice,but she is doing nothing but excusing the kind of behavior she typically condems.

Maybe the gov is just a big pervert and an ass.

Maybe men don't always treat women they way they deserve and give them what they need.

Sometimes she sounds like she is trying to score points with the men of America. A loving relationship needs to have TWO people working at it.

They were married with children...therefore there was NO excuse for him HUMILIATING he wife and poor daughters by doing this.

[krisy]

.

men cheat, mostly out of not being loved an appreciated.



martin...this is not always true,sometimes,but not always.

I bet if you read around,you will find the number 1 reason women cheat is because they are not getting what they need from the man emotionally


It's still wrong no matter who does it.

If you want to screw around,have the common courtesy to leave your spouse first.

[actsnoblemartin]

I dont have to know what went on in someone's private life, to know that most men and women cheat when they are not being appreciate it.

We dont know every reason bin laden hates us, frankly it doesnt matter, it takes two to tango, two to have a relationship, and two to cheat, the one cheated on isnt an innocent victim, the relationship had problem before the man OR woman cheated. and all im saying is, even though we dont know what exactly that was, we should acknowledge the fact that people cheat for reasons, some more common then others.

Not being appreciated is one of them. and probably the most common


Get a grip. You and Dr. Laura have NO idea what went on in their private lives. All you know is one person cheated and no one really knows why. Perhaps he's a women hating porn addict? That would some how be her fault too, right Martin - not being slutty and dirty enough to satisfy him? That's obviously what he liked the best.

[actsnoblemartin]

I do not intend it to be always, my dear krisy.

and yes, emotional reasons for women seem the most common reason.

Its sad to me that people stay in relationship that arent working.


martin...this is not always true,sometimes,but not always.

I bet if you read around,you will find the number 1 reason women cheat is because they are not getting what they need from the man emotionally


It's still wrong no matter who does it.

If you want to screw around,have the common courtesy to leave your spouse first.

[Mr. P]

I can see her point in the context of a marriage...they are BOTH to blame...hey, marriage is a team sorta thing.

Now in the context of personal commitment and responsibility...HE'S a DICK!

[pegwinn]

I know some guys who live by the credo "If wifey aint givin it up, then I will find someone who will". Doesn't make adultery right.

I know a guy who, at his divorce for cheating, bluntly told the judge that "She has the right to say no. She doesn't have the right to say never." The family advocacy office on base stated that pressuring a spouse (female type) for sex was emotional abuse. Still doesn't make adultery right. The guy lost his shirt at the divorce.

I believe the wife contributed to the situation, but cannot be blamed personally for his actions.

As Mr. P said "He's a Dick".

Works for me.

[FSUK]

[QUOTE=actsnoblemartin;217321


men cheat, mostly out of not being loved an appreciated.[/QUOTE]

why the BS?

You think they go and let some random lady play with their ''crown jewels''c because they want to be loved?

They just want sex, a quick bang. Nothing to do with love.

[bullypulpit]

I think Dr. Laura made a good point the other day on the "Today Show":



http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/03/11/dr-laura-blames-spitzer_n_90994.html

Thoughts?

Bullshit...utter bullshit. That's blaming the victim...That's the same logic that blames rape victims...That's justification for her husband's moral failings and his inability to keep his dick in his pants...It's moral bankruptcy.

Statements like that only validate my opinion of "Dr." Laura as being a self-serving, self-aggrandizing, unqualified hack and media whore.

[bullypulpit]

men cheat, mostly out of not being loved an appreciated.

And you know this...how? God Marty...Grow up.

[Dilloduck]

Dr. Laura can STFU. Unless she knows them personally, then I'll retract.

Agreed---men and women have sex outside of marriage for a number of reasons. Dr. Laura makes her bucks by making broad (:laugh2:) generalizations about human behavior. Taking a controversial stand gets her a lot of attention and also a lot of admiration from those who can identify with her perceptions. Dr. Laura took this specific opportunity to get some air time.

[diuretic]

Am I supposed to take that woman seriously? I mean, really, what a load of old cobblers. Spitzer sought out prostitutes. No-one grabbed him by the dick and dragged him along to those hotel rooms. He is a grub of the first order and deserves to be totally humiliated. His wife did not deserve it and she should have kicked his arse onto that podium at the news conference and told him to make like the Lone Ranger, as in, you're on your own on this one.

[5stringJeff]

Am I supposed to take that woman seriously? I mean, really, what a load of old cobblers. Spitzer sought out prostitutes. No-one grabbed him by the dick and dragged him along to those hotel rooms. He is a grub of the first order and deserves to be totally humiliated. His wife did not deserve it and she should have kicked his arse onto that podium at the news conference and told him to make like the Lone Ranger, as in, you're on your own on this one.

:clap: :clap: :clap:

Good post! I agree, and I think Dr. Laura is wrong on this one.

[Gunny]

I think Dr. Laura made a good point the other day on the "Today Show":



http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/03/11/dr-laura-blames-spitzer_n_90994.html

Thoughts?

Anyone that is willing to pay what he did for a piece of ass has far more issues than his wife.

[OCA]

your missing the point, read the article.

it talks about women in america (In general), treat their husbands unkind, and then wonder why they cheat, same can be said other way around.

she didnt say its ok to cheat, but she is not an innocent victim.

men cheat, mostly out of not being loved an appreciated.

So you know exactly how things were in their personal relationship Raymond? You know that she was treating him like crap personally and sexually? Talk about placing the blame where it don't belong lordy!

I suppose you think its the woman's fault when she puts on the little black dress, fixes herself up nice, looking good...............and gets raped by some scumbag.

On second thought I think i'll dismiss the opinions of a porn addict on all matters sexual.

You make me want to vomit with this crap.

[OCA]

Anyone that is willing to pay what he did for a piece of ass has far more issues than his wife.

Lol exactly Gunny! I saw the picture of that broad and no friggin way is she worth 4500!

[Gunny]

Lol exactly Gunny! I saw the picture of that broad and no friggin way is she worth 4500!

They don't make one worth more than the price of dinner and dancing, IMO.

[OCA]

They don't make one worth more than the price of dinner and dancing, IMO.

So you've taken a lady of the night out for dinner and uhhhhhh dancing as you say?:laugh2::poke:

[Gunny]

So you've taken a lady of the night out for dinner and uhhhhhh dancing as you say?:laugh2::poke:

LOL, hardly. For what I'd be willing to pay, I'd need a titanium full-body rubber.:laugh2:

[OCA]

LOL, hardly. For what I'd be willing to pay, I'd need a titanium full-body rubber.:laugh2:


Ahh the ol' two dollar crackwhore variety!:laugh2:

[avatar4321]

its his fault plain and simple. i reemphasize: "He's a dick."

[Gunny]

Ahh the ol' two dollar crackwhore variety!:laugh2:

Two dollars is a mite steep, especially with inflaton being what it is. As the price of oil goes up, the price of ho's goes down.:cheers2:

[Gunny]

its his fault plain and simple. i reemphasize: "He's a dick."

That simple, huh?

If you're a drug addict, the bleeding hearts want to send you to rehab on my dime.

If you drop $8K on gambling, the bleeding hearts want to send you to rehab on my dime.

If you're a lush, the bleeding hearts want to send you to rehab on my dime.

If you're a Democrat who embarrasses the party by cheating on your wife and being stupid enough to drop $8k for some ass, you're a lowlife scumbag and responsible for your actions.

Guess I shouldn't be surprised at the usual double-standard from the left, but it always amazes me that they pretend something as blatant as a Saturn V rocket doesn't exist.

[Trigg]

I agree with dr. laura's point.

If a man or women doesn't feel loved and appreciated in a marriage they should either get counseling or get a divorce.

But for gods sake if your going to f**k around at least have the decency to get a divorce first.

[Hugh Lincoln]

I know some guys who live by the credo "If wifey aint givin it up, then I will find someone who will". Doesn't make adultery right.

I know a guy who, at his divorce for cheating, bluntly told the judge that "She has the right to say no. She doesn't have the right to say never." The family advocacy office on base stated that pressuring a spouse (female type) for sex was emotional abuse. Still doesn't make adultery right. The guy lost his shirt at the divorce.

The only wiggle room I'd have for Spitzer is if, indeed, his wife were refusing him. It happens. And it's a real issue. The woman can go forever without sex; the man, not very long. I don't know if that's what was going on here, but that does go on.

Sometimes, cheating happens because of uncontrolled horniness and sexual greed.

Legally, your buddy is right in many states: a spouse's refusal is grounds for divorce. But whether it's ever been a winning argument is questionable in this day and age when the woman is the holy golden child and the man is the dirty devil.

Maybe the best advice is, don't get caught.

[happyfeet]

This begs a wider question. What is the solution to the situation if she refuses point blank to have sex ever again, but she still loves him?? That has happened to one of best mate's brother. She is just not into sex any more, but wants him to stick around. I agree with HL that women can do without it longer than men. Does that make it right though?

[DragonStryk72]

Am I supposed to take that woman seriously? I mean, really, what a load of old cobblers. Spitzer sought out prostitutes. No-one grabbed him by the dick and dragged him along to those hotel rooms. He is a grub of the first order and deserves to be totally humiliated. His wife did not deserve it and she should have kicked his arse onto that podium at the news conference and told him to make like the Lone Ranger, as in, you're on your own on this one.

My only issue with this is that he came forward, he took the blame, he hasn't tried to put it at anyone's feet but his own, so at least in that aspect, he's been stand up about this.

Dr. Laura is obviously trying to get some extra points for throwing in on a heated debate. This wasn't an affair with a woman he worked, this was with women he had no emotional attachment to, so obviously, it's not about the emotional support.

Speaking as a guy, a guy going to a prostitute is solely the guy's fault.

[Hugh Lincoln]

This begs a wider question. What is the solution to the situation if she refuses point blank to have sex ever again, but she still loves him?? That has happened to one of best mate's brother. She is just not into sex any more, but wants him to stick around. I agree with HL that women can do without it longer than men. Does that make it right though?

The French have a solution for this, it's called a mistress. Americans frown on that, though. I think the frogs might have it right on this one. The fact is that a marriage is too much of a big thing to throw away because hubby needs some satisfaction and wifey is frozen cold. When kids are involved, that makes it even bigger. If nature decrees that hubby needs it and wifey won't do it, well, maybe our conventional ideas need to bend a little.

[happyfeet]

The French have a solution for this, it's called a mistress. Americans frown on that, though. I think the frogs might have it right on this one. The fact is that a marriage is too much of a big thing to throw away because hubby needs some satisfaction and wifey is frozen cold. When kids are involved, that makes it even bigger. If nature decrees that hubby needs it and wifey won't do it, well, maybe our conventional ideas need to bend a little.

I used to think it was bad for men to have mistresses, but I agree in my example. It does get complicated and the brother does have three kids. People make their choices and have to live with them.

[Kathianne]

Sorry to gross everyone out:

http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2008/03/mcgreevey_aide_says_he_had_sex.html


McGreevey aide says he had sexual trysts with ex-governor, wife
by Judith Lucas and John P. Martin/The Star-Ledger
Sunday March 16, 2008, 5:22 PM

A former aide to James E. McGreevey said today that he had three-way sexual trysts with the former governor and his wife before he took office, challenging Dina Matos McGreevey's assertion that she was naive about her husband's sexual exploits.

The aide, Theodore Pedersen, said he and the couple even had a nickname for the weekly romps, from 1999 to 2001, that typically began with dinner at T.G.I. Friday's and ended with a threesome at McGreevey's condo in Woodbridge.

They called them "Friday Night Specials," according to Pedersen.

Pedersen described the encounters during an interview with The Star-Ledger. He said he wanted to refute the innocent image that Matos McGreevey has projected - both during the couple's ongoing divorce battle and in interviews she gave after New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer resigned last week in a sex scandal. He said he was also incensed by her portrayal of herself as an unsuspecting wife in her book: "Silent Partner: A Memoir of My Marriage."
...

[stephanie]

The more tolerant we become of sexual divants and all that is involves..

the more we run on our own path of self-destruction...

It is inevitable........it seems...
:cheers2:

[Abbey Marie]

If the McGreevey story is true, it just adds to the belief I expressed a few days ago here, that these political wives know what's going on, and put up with it to maintain the lifestyle, fame and prestige. I find it hard to feel sorry for them really. Now the kids are a different matter.

[actsnoblemartin]

I can always count on you for brilliant posts and thread, this is a diamond gem

:salute:


The more tolerant we become of sexual divants and all that is involves..

the more we run on our own path of self-destruction...

It is inevitable........it seems...
:cheers2:

[OCA]

I can always count on you for brilliant posts and thread, this is a diamond gem

:salute:

But you don't agree with it do you Raymond? In this very thread you blamed Spitzer's wife for him going out and banging a whore, you excused HIS sexual deviancy because of your hatred of women.

[eighballsidepocket]

Breaking a wedding vow reflects on ones moral integrity and character. If Spitzer can't honor that vow, why should I trust him to be honest with his commitment to his constituents?

There's no "out clause". If your spouse doesn't give you what you want, that doesn't give one the right to violate the vow of commitment. If one spouse commits adultry, that doesn't mean that the other has the green light to do the same. Marriage is based on respect for one another. If one doesn't respect the commitment or institution of marriage, that doesn't mean the other party has an out to violate their commitment by looking for strange flesh also.

I've seen so many marriages fall apart because one spouse demands so much from the other, but doesn't reciprocate. Children or progeny are neglected and or expected to adapt to life, though their parents are such bad models of marriage and true commitment of souls to one-another.

Sex and marriage is important, but the love of commitment to one another which is called "agape" love, is the greatest love of all. Its the love that says I'm with you through all the bad times, the disappointments, sickness, stress, heartache....etc... as well as the joyous times.

Those marriages that last 50 years aren't based on constant "eros" or "phileo" type love, but ultimately mature into "agape" love, which is the greatest love of all.

People go into relationships with the immature attitude of what they can get out of it, rather than what they can put into. If a relationship is based on "take, take, take" and very little "give, give, give" by each spouse, it is a narcissitic relationship.

Narcissism rules our culture, and causes so much of the divorces. People, nowadays go into marriage like 4 year olds. It's me........what can I get out of it.........Both parties suck each other dry of emotional/mental/ and physical strength, looking for their own needs met first.