Chuck Norris

[5stringJeff]

What's the big deal about him anyway?

[darin]

What's the big deal about him anyway?

BESIDES THE FACT Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time? He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

[The ClayTaurus]

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

[The ClayTaurus]

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

:laugh: I hadn't heard that one yet.

[darin]

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

This thread would have been more fun if you didn't reveal the source of our Chucknowledge :)

[Hobbit]

If Jack Bauer was gay, he would be called Chuck Norris.

There, that oughtta stir the puddin' a little bit.

[darin]

If Jack Bauer was gay, he would be called Chuck Norris.

There, that oughtta stir the puddin' a little bit.

Jack Bauer and Chuck Norris already did battle:

# Chuck Norris once invited all of the other badasses from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme badass. Only two showed up-- Jack Bauer and MacGyver.

# MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.

# Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.

[Hagbard Celine]

What's the big deal about him anyway?

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he needs.

[Hobbit]

Jack Bauer and Chuck Norris already did battle:

# Chuck Norris once invited all of the other badasses from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme badass. Only two showed up-- Jack Bauer and MacGyver.

# MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.

# Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.

Nah, that was written by Chuck Norris fans. If Jack Bauer and Chuck Norris were ever at odds, Chuck Norris would try to roundhouse kick Jack, only to have his own legs run away in fear. Bauer would then shoot him in the back of the head...with a tactical nuke, knowing that it was the only way to be sure, and Chuck Norris is too dangerous to be left alive.

[avatar4321]

Nah, that was written by Chuck Norris fans. If Jack Bauer and Chuck Norris were ever at odds, Chuck Norris would try to roundhouse kick Jack, only to have his own legs run away in fear. Bauer would then shoot him in the back of the head...with a tactical nuke, knowing that it was the only way to be sure, and Chuck Norris is too dangerous to be left alive.

Do you really think a tactical nuke will stop chuck norris? i mean he eats them for breakfeast. I think thats where his roundhouse kicks get so much power.

[5stringJeff]

Let's see...

Chuck Norris drives around Texas (a great state, by the way) shooting minor felons.

Jack Bauer drives, flies, and runs all over the country, killing terrorists and assassins and saving the world.

Jack Bauer, hands down.

[Hobbit]

Do you really think a tactical nuke will stop chuck norris? i mean he eats them for breakfeast. I think thats where his roundhouse kicks get so much power.

And I eat Cheerios for breakfast, but I'd be willing to bet that if Jack Bauer shot me with one in the back of the head, it would still kill me.

[Hagbard Celine]

Nah, that was written by Chuck Norris fans. If Jack Bauer and Chuck Norris were ever at odds, Chuck Norris would try to roundhouse kick Jack, only to have his own legs run away in fear. Bauer would then shoot him in the back of the head...with a tactical nuke, knowing that it was the only way to be sure, and Chuck Norris is too dangerous to be left alive.

Whatev Hobbi. Jack Bauer would speak threatening whispers at Chuck and Chuck would respond by smashing his fist through Jack's torso and ripping out his spine all while not getting a drop of blood on his snakeskin boots.

[darin]

Jack Bauer is a fictional Character.

Plus, the actor who plays Jack Bauer is of BRITISH and CANADIAN nationality. Chuck wins...Every time. AND he has a middle name of "Rufus."

[darin]

ALERT!! 24 SPOILER BELOW!! Highlight Text to view
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Chuck Norris wouldn't surrender to his own father like a little bitch, then sit there, on his knees, crying like a baby waiting to be shot in the back of the head only to turn around and see his daddy had run off (Like a little bitch).

:D

[avatar4321]

And I eat Cheerios for breakfast, but I'd be willing to bet that if Jack Bauer shot me with one in the back of the head, it would still kill me.

Depends how hard headed you are:)

[avatar4321]

Now here is the real question. Could either of them beat Batman?:p

[Abbey Marie]

Jack Bauer and Chuck Norris already did battle:

# Chuck Norris once invited all of the other badasses from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme badass. Only two showed up-- Jack Bauer and MacGyver.

# MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.

# Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.

If he didn't invite Bea Arthur, it wasn't much of a contest.

[dan]

It's very simple: Jack Bauer would win because he's a vampire.

http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h220/imagroovy1/Horror/lostboys_KieferSutherland2.jpg

[glockmail]

Chuck's got a hot wife.

[Gaffer]

Chuck Norris got his start doing commericals in southern calif to promote his karati studio back in the late 60's early 70's. They were shown mostly at night on the independent stations.You could stay up late and watched chopped up movies brought to you by Chuck Norris Studios or Cal Worthington. Then he got into acting. Should have stayed with the karati studio. His acting ability ranked right up there with Joe Namath.

[glockmail]

Agreed his acting sucks. But so what? :laugh2:

[darin]

Chuck Norris got his start doing commericals in southern calif to promote his karati studio back in the late 60's early 70's. They were shown mostly at night on the independent stations.You could stay up late and watched chopped up movies brought to you by Chuck Norris Studios or Cal Worthington. Then he got into acting. Should have stayed with the karati studio. His acting ability ranked right up there with Joe Namath.

Cal Worthington was run out of business in this state, afaik. :)

[Yurt]

Don't numb the "Chuck." He is the man. The Chuck rules.

[Nienna]

If he didn't invite Bea Arthur, it wasn't much of a contest.

Abbey! What are you doing in this thread???? Can't you tell this is a TESTOSTERONE THREAD?

:poke:

[Abbey Marie]

Abbey! What are you doing in this thread???? Can't you tell this is a TESTOSTERONE THREAD?

:poke:

Oh, Nienna, if I worried about that, I couldn't post on about 85% of the board. :)


(I'm shocked that you gave me the pokey-poke icon). :coffee:

[dan]

Chuck Norris got his start doing commericals in southern calif to promote his karati studio back in the late 60's early 70's. They were shown mostly at night on the independent stations.You could stay up late and watched chopped up movies brought to you by Chuck Norris Studios or Cal Worthington. Then he got into acting. Should have stayed with the karati studio. His acting ability ranked right up there with Joe Namath.

Clearly you've never heard of a little movie called Delta Force. Oscar-worthy, I tell ya.

[glockmail]

Clearly you've never heard of a little movie called Delta Force. Oscar-worthy, I tell ya. I have 6 copies on DVD, titanium plated, permanently installed in every player and computer in my house.

[CSM]

Don't numb the "Chuck." He is the man. The Chuck rules.

AH, so that's how numbchucks got their name!

[theHawk]

Jack Bauer may have disarmed nukes and tortured terrorists, but has he ever performed a drop-kick through a windshield and clocked the guy out cold?

[theHawk]

That being said, I think they should kill off bauer this season and next season should be 24:Walker, Texas CTU Ranger.

[Gaffer]

Clearly you've never heard of a little movie called Delta Force. Oscar-worthy, I tell ya.

Yes I have heard of it. It sucked. If he wants to play soldier he needs to cut his hair and look like a soldier.