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View Full Version : A great dam post



Sitarro
01-31-2008, 01:34 AM
This was sent to me today and I got a big kick out of it. I could see this letter being written by numerous people on this board. Read the letter from the state first..........:laugh2::laugh2::laugh2:

Re: *DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County **

Dear Mr. Price,

Your certified letter**has been handed to me to respond to. *I am the legal landowner but *not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane , Trout Run, Pennsylvania ***

A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of *constructing *and *maintaining two wood 'debris' dams across the outlet stream of my Spring *Pond. *While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam *project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their *skillful use of natures building materials 'debris.' *

I would *like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project *any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I *can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, *their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, *their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic. *


*******
These are *the beavers/contractors you are seeking. ***As to your *request, I do not think the beavers are *aware that *they must first fill out a dam permit prior *to the start *of this type of dam activity.

My first dam question to you is: *

(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, *or

(2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform *to said dam request? ***

If you are not discriminating *against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, *I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam *permits that have been issued. *

(Perhaps we will see if there *really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the *Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public *Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania *Compiled Laws, annotated.)

I have several concerns. *My first *concern is, aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? *The *Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for *said representation -- so the State will have to provide them with a dam *lawyer. *The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the *dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that *this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. ***In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone *rather than harassing them and calling them dam names. **

If *you want the stream 'restored' to a dam free-flow condition please contact *the beavers -- but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not *pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read English. **

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right *to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is *green and water flows downstream. *They have more dam rights than I *do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. *If the Department of Natural *Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should *protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' *Dams). *

So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this *dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. *Why wait until 1/31/2006? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice *then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass *them.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a *real environmental quality, health, problem in the area. *It is the *bears! Bears are *actually defecating in our woods. *I definitely believe you should be *persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are *going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! *The bears are *not careful where they dump! *

Being unable to comply with *your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering *machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.

THANK YOU, **

RYAN DEVRIES
& THE DAM BEAVERS

stephanie
01-31-2008, 03:07 AM
The letter was dam funny..

But...beavers can cause some big dam problems, depending on where the dam beavers are damming...:laugh2:

dan
01-31-2008, 09:17 AM
Yeah, I got a question: where can I get some dam bait?
http://photos3.flickr.com/6193782_5fb7cc3a79_m.jpg

theHawk
01-31-2008, 10:22 AM
Whats with** all the *damned**asterisks****?

Sitarro
01-31-2008, 01:40 PM
Whats with** all the *damned**asterisks****?

Good question, I copied and placed from an e-mail and didn't notice.

Psychoblues
02-06-2008, 03:06 AM
And you whined and cried about my disrespect for you, zero. You think this is funny, you ain't seen nothin' yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your "great dam post" implies your ignorance as well as your cowardice.

stephanie
02-06-2008, 03:13 AM
And you whined and cried about my disrespect for you, zero. You think this is funny, you ain't seen nothin' yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your "great dam post" implies your ignorance as well as your cowardice.

I musta missed this one...

From what I read the dam post was about dam beavers building their dam dams........

:popcorn::popcorn:

Psychoblues
02-06-2008, 03:17 AM
I apologize, staphy. There IS a history that you probably are not aware of. That's a GOOD thing.



I musta missed this one...

From what I read the dam post was about dam beavers building their dam dams........

:popcorn::popcorn:

Can I buy you a drink?

Sitarro
02-06-2008, 03:17 AM
I musta missed this one...

From what I read the dam post was about dam beavers building their dam dams........

:popcorn::popcorn:

Psycho is chugging the fuel he puts in his redneck mud cars again.

Psychoblues
02-06-2008, 03:21 AM
And zero is still eating shit from the last anal appreciation party he called.



Psycho is chugging the fuel he puts in his redneck mud cars again.

You got something against rednecks, zero?