My husband is thinking of joining the Army Reserves...(wandering thoughts)

[KitchenKitten99]

... and I am not sure what I am feeling. Mostly fear, I think, of possibly losing my best friend, should he be sent overseas. I'm not really asking for advice, I'm just kind of getting this off my chest, so to speak.

He is thinking of doing this as a PT thing, to get skills in construction and heavy equipment trades that we cannot afford to pay for schooling otherwise. Also, the PT pay would really help our income (because he would still keep his regular job he has now) and the signing bonus would take care of our residual credit card debt and put money in savings for whatever. His PT pay would more than cover what I make being a nanny so I could either quit or keep working it for extra $$.

Basic training is now 10 weeks, and I suppose that isn't too bad. But he would be out of state, and I don't know how I feel about it. I guess since we have a pretty good support system with friends and family, I'd make it through ok. We have never been apart from each other for more than 3 days at a time since we started dating back in '97.

The trades that he wants to train in, are located here, at a reserve center about 20 miles South of us. I don't know if he has to stay there the whole time, or he lives at home and then travels to and from while training.

But then after basic and career training (i think), there might be that possibility of his being sent overseas. While I am willing to accept that sacrifice, I almost am not and I want to be selfish with him, and say no, I don't want him to do this. But then I would deprive him of a chance to gain skills and knowledge to advance his career and have more job options in life, which in turn, could deprive our family of things we want to achieve.

The recruiter is coming on Wednesday to talk and answer questions.

Ironically, the idea of his joining the PT reserves, came from an off-hand joke I made when an ad came on TV and it said something about the signing bonus. I wasn't really serious, but then he started actually talking about it and looking into it. I guess if he really wants to do this, or even consider it, I will support him, as he would do with me, if I wanted to do something serious like this.

Part of me wants to give my husband the opportunity to acquire skills in an industry he has always wanted to get into. The other part says to just keep things the way they are-steady, reliable, and predictable. But then I would feel guilty of being the reason he stopped himself from doing something that could ultimately be better for our family, even if he ends up risking his life. I just can't imagine what I would do without him. I am not sure how to feel about this.

[manu1959]

he wants to provide for his family and is willing to sacrifice .... and take the risk to do so.... tell him you love him and give him a hug.....sounds like a great guy....

[nevadamedic]

... and I am not sure what I am feeling. Mostly fear, I think, of possibly losing my best friend, should he be sent overseas. I'm not really asking for advice, I'm just kind of getting this off my chest, so to speak.

He is thinking of doing this as a PT thing, to get skills in construction and heavy equipment trades that we cannot afford to pay for schooling otherwise. Also, the PT pay would really help our income (because he would still keep his regular job he has now) and the signing bonus would take care of our residual credit card debt and put money in savings for whatever. His PT pay would more than cover what I make being a nanny so I could either quit or keep working it for extra $$.

Basic training is now 10 weeks, and I suppose that isn't too bad. But he would be out of state, and I don't know how I feel about it. I guess since we have a pretty good support system with friends and family, I'd make it through ok. We have never been apart from each other for more than 3 days at a time since we started dating back in '97.

The trades that he wants to train in, are located here, at a reserve center about 20 miles South of us. I don't know if he has to stay there the whole time, or he lives at home and then travels to and from while training.

But then after basic and career training (i think), there might be that possibility of his being sent overseas. While I am willing to accept that sacrifice, I almost am not and I want to be selfish with him, and say no, I don't want him to do this. But then I would deprive him of a chance to gain skills and knowledge to advance his career and have more job options in life, which in turn, could deprive our family of things we want to achieve.

The recruiter is coming on Wednesday to talk and answer questions.

Ironically, the idea of his joining the PT reserves, came from an off-hand joke I made when an ad came on TV and it said something about the signing bonus. I wasn't really serious, but then he started actually talking about it and looking into it. I guess if he really wants to do this, or even consider it, I will support him, as he would do with me, if I wanted to do something serious like this.

Part of me wants to give my husband the opportunity to acquire skills in an industry he has always wanted to get into. The other part says to just keep things the way they are-steady, reliable, and predictable. But then I would feel guilty of being the reason he stopped himself from doing something that could ultimately be better for our family, even if he ends up risking his life. I just can't imagine what I would do without him. I am not sure how to feel about this.

Have him look at the Coast Guard Reserves, they have a better program and they do a lot of Law Enforcement and Drug Enforcement. Also the Air National Guard is awesome as well. If he goes in the Coast Guard he wont really go over seas.

[KitchenKitten99]

Have him look at the Coast Guard Reserves, they have a better program and they do a lot of Law Enforcement and Drug Enforcement. Also the Air National Guard is awesome as well. If he goes in the Coast Guard he wont really go over seas.

the only way he is even remotely thinking about joining any part of the military, is if there is a branch that allows us to stay where we are. We don't want to move, and he doesn't want to give up his current job. He is happy where he is, but he wants skills that can take him anywhere else, should his current job start to be unpleasant more often than not.

[nevadamedic]

the only way he is even remotely thinking about joining any part of the military, is if there is a branch that allows us to stay where we are. We don't want to move, and he doesn't want to give up his current job. He is happy where he is, but he wants skills that can take him anywhere else, should his current job start to be unpleasant more often than not.

They would have a Coast Guard base where you are at and definatly an Air Guard base. The Air Guard has less risk and is a better way to go, especially for education.

[LiberalNation]

the only way he is even remotely thinking about joining any part of the military, is if there is a branch that allows us to stay where we are. We don't want to move, and he doesn't want to give up his current job. He is happy where he is, but he wants skills that can take him anywhere else, should his current job start to be unpleasant more often than not.
I can't say I'm a miltary expert or anything but if you don't wana be moved don't join the military. They're known to send you wherever your needed once in.

[82Marine89]

It's the reserves. Yes, he could get activated and have to go fight a war. That's part of being in the military. Otherwise, he lives at home with you. There are no transfers to another duty station and he trains one weekend a month, two weeks in the summer.

God bless him for being willing to make the sacrifice so you can have a better life later.

:salute:

[LiberalNation]

Otherwise, he lives at home with you. There are no transfers to another duty station and he trains one weekend a month, two weeks in the summer.
and we all know how that's worked out for the gaurd and reaserves for the last 4 years with no end to our current war in sight.

[nevadamedic]

and we all know how that's worked out for the gaurd and reaserves for the last 4 years with no end to our current war in sight.

First of all they or their family didn't have to relocate. Second of all they knew that going in there is a good chance they have to goto war and they knew that when they took their oath. Also after the tragic events of 9/11 a lot of people joined the Guard and Active duty military to help combat the evil that is the Middle East.

I strongly recommend that he consider the Coast Guard as he wouldn't have to really worry about going to war.

[LiberalNation]

Many signed up for one weekend a month, two weeks in the summer. For the perks and extra money with no thought of being to deployed overseas to a war zone repeatedly. You really think a lot of people who joined the guard in the past would have done so if they knew they'd be deployed overseas.

Besides the way she talks she doesn’t want to see her husband gone for a year stretch even if they are not relocated but yeah coastguards a good bet if your going and that’s what ya want.

[avatar4321]

Many signed up for one weekend a month, two weeks in the summer. For the perks and extra money with no thought of being to deployed overseas to a war zone repeatedly. You really think a lot of people who joined the guard in the past would have done so if they knew they'd be deployed overseas.

Besides the way she talks she doesn’t want to see her husband gone for a year stretch even if they are not relocated but yeah coastguards a good bet if your going and that’s what ya want.

Considering we have been at war for longer than most reservists serve, yes, I do think they joined the guard in the past knowing they'd be deployed overseas.

I've thought about joining the reserves, but then i run into the same health issues as I have with regular military.

I do know how you feel fuzzy, one of my best friends in the whole world will be signing up for either the Army or the Navy within the next two weeks. I am sad to know that he will be away and possibly sent to a war zone, but I am also prouder of him then ever. He was in a bad situation in the past. He was a serious druggie and nearly died from overdoses multiple times. But he cleaned up his act. and now he wants to join the military because he wants more discipline and direction in his life. I admire him, and in a way envy him, more now than ever.

[AFbombloader]

One thing you need to look at is the difference between guard and reserves. The Air Guard is a good place but they are funded by the state where they reside. State run out of money and one of the first things to get cut back is the pay for education to the guard units. The reserves are federally funded and that won't happen.
There is always a chance to get called up. You are initially looking at 10 weeks of BMT and ??weeks of job training where he is going to be away. Thst is a good first test to see how you may handle the possibility of it happening in the future. I hope you choose well. I am currently away from my family on a year in Korea.

AF:salute:

[AFbombloader]

Many signed up for one weekend a month, two weeks in the summer. For the perks and extra money with no thought of being to deployed overseas to a war zone repeatedly. You really think a lot of people who joined the guard in the past would have done so if they knew they'd be deployed overseas.

Besides the way she talks she doesn’t want to see her husband gone for a year stretch even if they are not relocated but yeah coastguards a good bet if your going and that’s what ya want.

They people who signed up for the weekend and two weeks in the summer were all aware of the responsibilities their unit would have if called up. I feel no pity for them. :salute:

[LiberalNation]

I wouldn't say I pity them either but it does suck when you think your signing up for one thing and end up doin another. Their own faults though.

[Nukeman]

I wouldn't say I pity them either but it does suck when you think your signing up for one thing and end up doin another. Their own faults though.How could you possibly think you were signing up for anything other than serving in the Mlitary... Are you really this dense. They are fully aware of the potential for deployment you dont just serve in fair weather!!!!!!!!!

[LiberalNation]

Sorry but plenty weren't. It's not me being dense stating otherwise.

[Pale Rider]

the only way he is even remotely thinking about joining any part of the military, is if there is a branch that allows us to stay where we are. We don't want to move, and he doesn't want to give up his current job. He is happy where he is, but he wants skills that can take him anywhere else, should his current job start to be unpleasant more often than not.

My father learned how to be a Master Pressman/Printer on an apprenticeship. Isn't there anything like that your husband could look into?

[KitchenKitten99]

My father learned how to be a Master Pressman/Printer on an apprenticeship. Isn't there anything like that your husband could look into?

unfortunately, he'd take a cut in pay, and you can't even get an apprenticeship here in MN (damn unions) without some sort of formal educational training, and we can't afford that.

[Pale Rider]

unfortunately, he'd take a cut in pay, and you can't even get an apprenticeship here in MN (damn unions) without some sort of formal educational training, and we can't afford that.

Well that sucks Fuzzy. All I can think to say is, if you join any branch, Guard or Reserve, there's always that chance you might see action... comes with the job... :dunno:

Tough decision.

[KitchenKitten99]

Well that sucks Fuzzy. All I can think to say is, if you join any branch, Guard or Reserve, there's always that chance you might see action... comes with the job... :dunno:

Tough decision.

I know. I guess if he is willing to make that sacrifice, I will support him, because he's ultimately doing it for us. I guess I just am having a hard time accepting that if he does get called to active duty, I might never see my best friend again, and my boys will only vaguely remember their father. My oldest will have a better memory than my youngest.

I guess I have never thought that I would have to deal with something like this, and never really thought about how I would feel.

[Pale Rider]

I know. I guess if he is willing to make that sacrifice, I will support him, because he's ultimately doing it for us. I guess I just am having a hard time accepting that if he does get called to active duty, I might never see my best friend again, and my boys will only vaguely remember their father. My oldest will have a better memory than my youngest.

I guess I have never thought that I would have to deal with something like this, and never really thought about how I would feel.

The fact that he might see action and get killed is something you need to talk over. It could happen. Are you willing to make that sacrifice? Would you be better off if he was killed? Would the family be better off? Frankly, I don't think so. Even if you did have to struggle a little harder with him not joining, at least he'd be alive and your children would have a father. I think that's a better alternative. Of course there's a better chance that he could join and live through the whole adventure. My brother spent two tours in Viet Nam and lived to tell about it. Of course he's passed away now, but he lived through the war. So personally, if you're not ready to deal with the possibility of death, and you're thinking of joining the military "just to get ahead," I would recommend against it. I joined because every male in untold generations of my family all enlisted. I "wanted" to, and was totally ready to make the ultimate sacrifice.

It's a tough decision, no doubt. Think about it, long and hard. Is it worth it? Will it benefit the family in the long run if he's killed?

[nevadamedic]

unfortunately, he'd take a cut in pay, and you can't even get an apprenticeship here in MN (damn unions) without some sort of formal educational training, and we can't afford that.

I'm serious, talk to the Coast Guard recruiter about the reserves. My dad did that and thats how he got his education and now he makes great money. He has two degrees and on top of that they paid for his Real Estate and Broker education. We lived in a nice part of the Bay Area in California(Alamo) with a vacation home in Lake Tahoe. They now have a 6 bedroom house on 3 1/2 acres in a very nice area of Carson City(an example of the neighborhood, Congressman Dean Heller is our neighbor). He gives credit as all of this is a result of the education he recieved via the US Coast Guard Reserves.

[KitchenKitten99]

The fact that he might see action and get killed is something you need to talk over. It could happen. Are you willing to make that sacrifice? Would you be better off if he was killed? Would the family be better off? Frankly, I don't think so. Even if you did have to struggle a little harder with him not joining, at least he'd be alive and your children would have a father. I think that's a better alternative. Of course there's a better chance that he could join and live through the whole adventure. My brother spent two tours in Viet Nam and lived to tell about it. Of course he's passed away now, but he lived through the war. So personally, if you're not ready to deal with the possibility of death, and you're thinking of joining the military "just to get ahead," I would recommend against it. I joined because every male in untold generations of my family all enlisted. I "wanted" to, and was totally ready to make the ultimate sacrifice.

It's a tough decision, no doubt. Think about it, long and hard. Is it worth it?

He isn't so much thinking of joining to get ahead financially, as it is a way for him to get into a career field that is hard to get into without some sort of formal education (hands on or otherwise). Plus he's always thought about joining, just never truly seriously until just recently, over the last 2 months or so.

We aren't struggling. We're fine, just tight, due to my desire to stay home with the boys until our youngest is at least in preschool a couple days a week.

I am sure I would be and our family would be fine if something were to happen. At least it would be something I would have to expect if he were to be deployed. He could get into an accident or be hit by someone in the line of work he does now and be gone that way too. Either way, both jobs have risks. One of them more than the other, and with the military and being deployed, I would expect that more than his current job.

I guess if there are families out there that survive these things, then I can too.

Who knows, he may not ever even be deployed at all.

[Pale Rider]

He isn't so much thinking of joining to get ahead financially, as it is a way for him to get into a career field that is hard to get into without some sort of formal education (hands on or otherwise). Plus he's always thought about joining, just never truly seriously until just recently, over the last 2 months or so.

We aren't struggling. We're fine, just tight, due to my desire to stay home with the boys until our youngest is at least in preschool a couple days a week.

I am sure I would be and our family would be fine if something were to happen. At least it would be something I would have to expect if he were to be deployed. He could get into an accident or be hit by someone in the line of work he does now and be gone that way too. Either way, both jobs have risks. One of them more than the other, and with the military and being deployed, I would expect that more than his current job.

I guess if there are families out there that survive these things, then I can too.

Who knows, he may not ever even be deployed at all.

I think you sound ready for whatever your husband decides Fuzzy. That's good, and good luck to you either way. :salute:

[Gaffer]

If he goes in he will get his basic training. That will be the longest period you will be separated. His advanced training will be done most likely with his unit which could be as much as 6 hours away from where you live. He will do one weekend a month and two weeks during the summer. Sounds like he is looking into joining an engineer battalion. The amount of combat danger he could be in would depend on if he's in a regular engineer battalion or a combat engineer battalion. That's something you will need to check with the recruiter about. He can get excellent training in the reserves and he will get educational benefits as well. When he does go to school the military training will be counted toward his credit hours.

Reserve units that are called up are either to replace other troops (rare) or because they have special skills that are needed in a particular area. Except for special skills the reserves are subject to be called up before the guard.

Let us know what happens. :salute:

[nevadamedic]

If he goes in he will get his basic training. That will be the longest period you will be separated. His advanced training will be done most likely with his unit which could be as much as 6 hours away from where you live. He will do one weekend a month and two weeks during the summer. Sounds like he is looking into joining an engineer battalion. The amount of combat danger he could be in would depend on if he's in a regular engineer battalion or a combat engineer battalion. That's something you will need to check with the recruiter about. He can get excellent training in the reserves and he will get educational benefits as well. When he does go to school the military training will be counted toward his credit hours.

Reserve units that are called up are either to replace other troops (rare) or because they have special skills that are needed in a particular area. Except for special skills the reserves are subject to be called up before the guard.

Let us know what happens. :salute:

You cant always trust what a recruiter says, some of them are worse then used car salesmen.

Fuzzy I know I am beating a dead horse to death but check with the Coast Guard and Air Guard, there is less risk. Also if he is ever considering to be in any type of Law Enforcement they will pick someone who served in the Coast Guard anyday over other candidates because the Coast Guard does a lot of Law Enforcement, Border Security and Drug Issues. Also if you have a Lake like we do(Lake Tahoe) they have a small base with a few ships and your basically a cop for the waterway stopping drunk boaters and rescuing people etc. It seems like a blast.

[KitchenKitten99]

Well, it is decided. We like what we hear and he wants to enlist, but he is going to wait until this fall. We want to save up some money in savings, pay off a few things, and summer is when he gets the most overtime to do this. He is down to basic 40 hrs in fall/winter, which is the perfect time to go to basic training. The biggest thing we were worried about is what he gets paid while there and will it cover our bills, since he wouldn't be working his current job at the time. The income while he is gone, will be just a bit over what he actually brings in now, with reserve pay starting at E1 plus BAH (housing allowance), and when he is done with training, he gets 50% of the signing bonus, and then after AIT, he gets 25% and then after his 2 year anniversary, the other 25%. We don't know if this is 10K or 20K total, but whatever.

[Mr. P]

Well, it is decided. We like what we hear and he wants to enlist, but he is going to wait until this fall. We want to save up some money in savings, pay off a few things, and summer is when he gets the most overtime to do this. He is down to basic 40 hrs in fall/winter, which is the perfect time to go to basic training. The biggest thing we were worried about is what he gets paid while there and will it cover our bills, since he wouldn't be working his current job at the time. The income while he is gone, will be just a bit over what he actually brings in now, with reserve pay starting at E1 plus BAH (housing allowance), and when he is done with training, he gets 50% of the signing bonus, and then after AIT, he gets 25% and then after his 2 year anniversary, the other 25%. We don't know if this is 10K or 20K total, but whatever.

A bunch of folks didn't know how much the mortgage payment would increase either, but whatever. :slap:

[KitchenKitten99]

A bunch of folks didn't know how much the mortgage payment would increase either, but whatever. :slap:

the signing bonus is nice, but not the real reason for his wanting to join.

[LiberalNation]

Best of luck, hope nothing comes back to bite ya in the ass.

[Gaffer]

Cool. Once he gets his assigned unit he may be able to get his 2 week service time in the winter months. :salute:

[KitchenKitten99]

Cool. Once he gets his assigned unit he may be able to get his 2 week service time in the winter months. :salute:

Yeah, he says he wants to do that, if he can. Plus he has the choice of where to go for the 2 weeks. He wants to go to Germany for the first one, which will be next year. I would definitely want to go with him, at least for one week, even if I have to pay my own way.

I still am a bit nervous about his being gone for half a year (collectively) for basic and AIT, but I know I can count on my friends, and some family, to help us out and be there for support. I know my mom and grandparents will definitely be all for it, and we have some really awesome friends here that are not fair-weather friends.

His parents... I know they will help, but we haven't even told him about all this yet, because we know them too well. Every chance they got/would get, they will peck and peck and peck at him with all the negatives about military life, etc, and try to change his mind. His dad was in the Navy, but only because he was drafted for VietNam, not because he did it willingly. Plus they're big liberals for the most part, so their reaction is almost predictable.

I told my husband straight out, that this is HIS decision, and I would be happy with whatever he decided. I just want him to have more on his resume than he does and more opportunities than he does now, and I believe that military experience will open a whole plethora of doors for him, thus benefitting the family as well. Plus his educational interest in the military (he knows more about weapons and artillery just from reading books & watching movies than any civilian I know!) will help him, and I think he really will enjoy most of it because he will get to live what he reads about all the time.

And I kind of like the idea of the status of 'military family'. I also have a HUGE soft-spot for guys in uniform... read: BIG turn on!

[Gaffer]

Sounds like you made all the right decisions for all the right reasons. It won't be easy, but nothing worth doing is easy. Sounds like he's a big military history buff. Keep in mind your living history. 40 years from now you can look back on it all and say. Wow, I remember when that was going on, or I took part in that.

After he finishes his enlistment, if he and you decide its too much he can get out with great training and experience under his belt and a lot of that is accepted in college toward a degree.

:salute:

[KitchenKitten99]

Sounds like you made all the right decisions for all the right reasons. It won't be easy, but nothing worth doing is easy. Sounds like he's a big military history buff. Keep in mind your living history. 40 years from now you can look back on it all and say. Wow, I remember when that was going on, or I took part in that.

After he finishes his enlistment, if he and you decide its too much he can get out with great training and experience under his belt and a lot of that is accepted in college toward a degree.

:salute:

He is big into military history. He plays all 4 Call of Duty games, loves WWII era warcraft and can identify almost any military equipment he sees. He's really excited for the experience he will get in real life, not just simulated like when he plays video games or even outdoor paintball, which is another passion of his.

[nevadamedic]

the signing bonus is nice, but not the real reason for his wanting to join.

I would talk to other recruiters first. Recruiter's lie and are like used car salesmen. He is giving away a big part of his life and he needs to explore all his options.

[Mr. P]

He is big into military history. He plays all 4 Call of Duty games, loves WWII era warcraft and can identify almost any military equipment he sees. He's really excited for the experience he will get in real life, not just simulated like when he plays video games or even outdoor paintball, which is another passion of his.

Oh boy! Anyone else see this train wreck coming?

Sorry Fuzzy, but the military ain't a game nor a hobby. :slap:

[KitchenKitten99]

I would talk to other recruiters first. Recruiter's lie and are like used car salesmen. He is giving away a big part of his life and he needs to explore all his options.

actually the recruiter didn't talk about it much. He mentioned how the bonus is paid out (like I had posted), but he didn't specify how much, because that is based on several factors at the time of actual enlistment and he didn't want to get too detailed on the amount because of that. He talked about the realities and what we are looking at for commitment and time, and being called to active duty, etc. He said that he has already had two tours in Iraq, but it was due to his knowledge and skills in a particular field and that they needed him to relieve a couple officers who were wounded. He said that the reality of being called up is really about how much he will know and what skills he has or will have, and if they're needed for whatever reason.

I also talked to a few people on another board whose spouses are in the reserves as well, and everything the recruiter said was correct, as far as they could tell.

And Mr. P, he knows this is not a game. I believe that his passion for this stuff and all things related that will gonna make it easier for him because he has always wanted to do the real thing. He knows that it isn't easy or will really ever be, but he wants that challenge.

[nevadamedic]

actually the recruiter didn't talk about it much. He mentioned how the bonus is paid out (like I had posted), but he didn't specify how much, because that is based on several factors at the time of actual enlistment and he didn't want to get too detailed on the amount because of that. He talked about the realities and what we are looking at for commitment and time, and being called to active duty, etc. He said that he has already had two tours in Iraq, but it was due to his knowledge and skills in a particular field and that they needed him to relieve a couple officers who were wounded. He said that the reality of being called up is really about how much he will know and what skills he has or will have, and if they're needed for whatever reason.

I also talked to a few people on another board whose spouses are in the reserves as well, and everything the recruiter said was correct, as far as they could tell.

And Mr. P, he knows this is not a game. I believe that his passion for this stuff and all things related that will gonna make it easier for him because he has always wanted to do the real thing. He knows that it isn't easy or will really ever be, but he wants that challenge.

Also what ever training that he picks to do there is a good chance he wont get it. You don't get to pick what you do. You can request it but you don't always get it. I know several people who signed up to be mechanics, cooks, Computer support, military police and fire rescue and were put in Infantry or and mine sweeping. Also if your in the reserves they don't send just one or two people because of their jobs, they send whole units no matter what the job is. There are people who have different jobs but are on the front lines fighting since that is your first duty in the military.

[82Marine89]

Also what ever training that he picks to do there is a good chance he wont get it. You don't get to pick what you do. You can request it but you don't always get it. I know several people who signed up to be mechanics, cooks, Computer support, military police and fire rescue and were put in Infantry or and mine sweeping. Also if your in the reserves they don't send just one or two people because of their jobs, they send whole units no matter what the job is. There are people who have different jobs but are on the front lines fighting since that is your first duty in the military.

And you know this how?

[KitchenKitten99]

Also if your in the reserves they don't send just one or two people because of their jobs, they send whole units no matter what the job is. There are people who have different jobs but are on the front lines fighting since that is your first duty in the military.

I must have misheard or misunderstood him when he was talking about it then, as he was mostly talking to Tim while I listened. Then again, I was trying to deal with the kids at the same time, and put them to bed as well. Plus Tim understands it all better than I do anyway. All I was concerned about was income to cover bills while he is away. Everything else is just details that I can accept.

As far as the job thing, he did say that they have to have openings for whatever it is he is interested in learning before he can just choose one, so he knows that. He gave us a list of current ones that are open as of 2 weeks ago, to get an idea what is in demand and what is not.

[Kathianne]

And you know this how?

He KNOWS people. Ya know. Now if Jeff or Darin or Pale were saying the same...

(Mr. P did give some warning. I'm not military but I saw the 'uniform' being a turn on, (sorry Fuzzy, but that stood out), and the interest in 'all things military.' )

If Fuzzy's husband feels called to serve, and both have the very real idea that he could be sent to a very dangerous area, even though 'reserve', then I say, 'go for it.' At the same time there are young children involved, so I'd think this through, long and hard. Most of those I've known and read about were enlisted before getting married and having children. The ties to their area of service and their commitment to serve predated the other commitments.

If Fuzzy and her husband knowingly do this, more power to them. Her sacrifice would also be great.

[Mr. P]

Good luck, Fuzzy...really.

I don't think you or your husband understand, a recruiter will tell you ANYTHING to get that signature (especially now). It's like car salesmen...quota. It's been that way for many, many years. Sorry, AFbomber.

The reserve will be called to duty before the guard. If that possibility is ok with you guys fine, I salute him. It's not fun and games, especially now, and interest in weapons etc....means nothing. If activated, he'll be where he's needed. Simple as that. The recruiter saying he 'replaced' officers? Think about it, it doesn't work that way I promise! I do have a bridge to sell in Nevada, if yer interested. Cheap.

[Gaffer]

When you enlist you get a contract. What you can get into depends on what is available as far as jobs. And enlistment bonus' vary with jobs and need. You can be called up because of your MOS not just with your unit. The only way you will get dumped into the infantry is if you wash out of your specialty school and chose to stay in rather than get a discharge. Even then you will get other choices. The infantry doesn't want people that don't want to be there.

Like I said nothing worth going after is going to be easy.

Be sure your right then go ahead. :salute:

[Mr. P]

Also what ever training that he picks to do there is a good chance he wont get it. You don't get to pick what you do. You can request it but you don't always get it. ...

Not true. At least it didn't use to be..you can have a contract for a specific type training. If you are to dumb to get that "enlistment" contract...yeah, they can put ya wherever.

[KitchenKitten99]

When you enlist you get a contract. What you can get into depends on what is available as far as jobs. And enlistment bonus' vary with jobs and need. You can be called up because of your MOS not just with your unit. The only way you will get dumped into the infantry is if you wash out of your specialty school and chose to stay in rather than get a discharge. Even then you will get other choices. The infantry doesn't want people that don't want to be there.

Like I said nothing worth going after is going to be easy.

Be sure your right then go ahead. :salute:
Ok, this is what he was telling us. He has specialty training in something (i can't remember what) and he got called up because of it.

And the same thing with the bonus. We were told it depends on what choices are made at time of enlisting.

I know it sounds like we are going into this lightly, but we are not. The things I mentioned are not coming across how I was thinking them, so how it is being read is not what I was thinking.

The whole 'looks good in a uniform' thing is a positive spin on what will be a very hard time for me with his being gone for more than a few days. I know I will get through it one day at a time, but little things like this make it easier for me to deal with the absence and this HUGE change in our lives, even if none of you understand that.

He has always wanted to enlist, but has never really had the guts to do it until now, from what he has told me, because of his dad. His dad really talks down military service (except when he tells his Vietnam stories, which I think are only half true to begin with). He did consider enlisting after high school, but that was back when he was able to be persuaded more by his parents instead of doing what he felt he wanted. Thus he tried to find other ways to get as close as he could without enlisting, and reading all he could get his hands on. Yeah, it isn't the same as the real thing, but it was as close as he was gonna get at that point. He started talking about enlisting over 6 months ago, and it just kind of snowballed to actually seriously looking into it just recently when we were talking about career options for him, so it isn't a new development. I believe it will be his true-to-heart interest in it all and desire to learn anything new will be part of what will keep him going through some of the hard parts.

And I am sure we are not the first couple to already have established a family before enlisting.

[Kathianne]

Ok, this is what he was telling us. He has specialty training in something (i can't remember what) and he got called up because of it.

And the same thing with the bonus. We were told it depends on what choices are made at time of enlisting.

I know it sounds like we are going into this lightly, but we are not. The things I mentioned are not coming across how I was thinking them, so how it is being read is not what I was thinking.

The whole 'looks good in a uniform' thing is a positive spin on what will be a very hard time for me with his being gone for more than a few days. I know I will get through it one day at a time, but little things like this make it easier for me to deal with the absence and this HUGE change in our lives, even if none of you understand that.

He has always wanted to enlist, but has never really had the guts to do it until now, from what he has told me, because of his dad. His dad really talks down military service (except when he tells his Vietnam stories, which I think are only half true to begin with). He did consider enlisting after high school, but that was back when he was able to be persuaded more by his parents instead of doing what he felt he wanted. Thus he tried to find other ways to get as close as he could without enlisting, and reading all he could get his hands on. Yeah, it isn't the same as the real thing, but it was as close as he was gonna get at that point. He started talking about enlisting over 6 months ago, and it just kind of snowballed to actually seriously looking into it just recently when we were talking about career options for him, so it isn't a new development. I believe it will be his true-to-heart interest in it all and desire to learn anything new will be part of what will keep him going through some of the hard parts.

And I am sure we are not the first couple to already have established a family before enlisting.

I'm sure you are not the only established family to have decided to enlist. I'm sorry if I've made a hard choice more difficult. I think you've known me long enough to know that I have the utmost respect for all that serve, especially those that love them. I can't imagine how hard this has been for you to decide, it does sound like you've decided. I will only say, thank you. :salute:

[Gunny]

Many signed up for one weekend a month, two weeks in the summer. For the perks and extra money with no thought of being to deployed overseas to a war zone repeatedly. You really think a lot of people who joined the guard in the past would have done so if they knew they'd be deployed overseas.

Besides the way she talks she doesn’t want to see her husband gone for a year stretch even if they are not relocated but yeah coastguards a good bet if your going and that’s what ya want.

Then they just weren't very bright, were they? Since it says right in the enlistment documents he can be activated and/or deployed.

Where you get this notion it should be a something for nothing deal is beyond me. If the people you refer to would not have joined had they known they'd be deployed, then they should not have. They tried to get something for free and got called to ante up.

Again, they KNEW there was a chance of getting deployed because it's explained to them not only by their counselors, but the MEPS staff.

Then there's the fact that NO ONE currently enlisted on active duty has not had the chance to get out if they wanted to. Most reserve contracts are 4 X 4 or 6 X 2. We've been at war since 2001. Do the math.

[nevadamedic]

And you know this how?

My whole family has served in the military and 99% of my friends are either in the military or have served. The majority of them were lied to by the recruiter and one of my friends got injured in Iraq in a combat situation and his job is a cook but he had to fight.

[Kathianne]

My whole family has served in the military and 99% of my friends are either in the military or have served. The majority of them were lied to by the recruiter and one of my friends got injured in Iraq in a combat situation and his job is a cook but he had to fight.

Where did you serve?

[Gunny]

... and I am not sure what I am feeling. Mostly fear, I think, of possibly losing my best friend, should he be sent overseas. I'm not really asking for advice, I'm just kind of getting this off my chest, so to speak.

He is thinking of doing this as a PT thing, to get skills in construction and heavy equipment trades that we cannot afford to pay for schooling otherwise. Also, the PT pay would really help our income (because he would still keep his regular job he has now) and the signing bonus would take care of our residual credit card debt and put money in savings for whatever. His PT pay would more than cover what I make being a nanny so I could either quit or keep working it for extra $$.

Basic training is now 10 weeks, and I suppose that isn't too bad. But he would be out of state, and I don't know how I feel about it. I guess since we have a pretty good support system with friends and family, I'd make it through ok. We have never been apart from each other for more than 3 days at a time since we started dating back in '97.

The trades that he wants to train in, are located here, at a reserve center about 20 miles South of us. I don't know if he has to stay there the whole time, or he lives at home and then travels to and from while training.

But then after basic and career training (i think), there might be that possibility of his being sent overseas. While I am willing to accept that sacrifice, I almost am not and I want to be selfish with him, and say no, I don't want him to do this. But then I would deprive him of a chance to gain skills and knowledge to advance his career and have more job options in life, which in turn, could deprive our family of things we want to achieve.

The recruiter is coming on Wednesday to talk and answer questions.

Ironically, the idea of his joining the PT reserves, came from an off-hand joke I made when an ad came on TV and it said something about the signing bonus. I wasn't really serious, but then he started actually talking about it and looking into it. I guess if he really wants to do this, or even consider it, I will support him, as he would do with me, if I wanted to do something serious like this.

Part of me wants to give my husband the opportunity to acquire skills in an industry he has always wanted to get into. The other part says to just keep things the way they are-steady, reliable, and predictable. But then I would feel guilty of being the reason he stopped himself from doing something that could ultimately be better for our family, even if he ends up risking his life. I just can't imagine what I would do without him. I am not sure how to feel about this.

You have to make the decision together, so you will HAVE to make a decision. Consider what is best for all, not only your desires. Yes, it's a way to get out from under the debt hammer, but there IS risk involved.

He's in construction and wishes to acquire construction skills. I would guess construction skills are a big demand in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Reserves are activated by unit, not individual unless that individual requests and receives a transfer to an activated unit. It isn't hard to call the local unit he will be assigned to and see if they are scheduled for activation and deployment, or if they ever have been. Most unit deployments are scheduled 3 years in advance, two years scheduled and one out-year.

[Classact]

I think everyone should be involved in some sort of service... there are so many choices of how someone could serve and create character and adventure exceeding the hum drum life of hometown.

If girls can do it your husband can do it... all jobs are not front line so it is up to the individual the amount of risk one wants to subject themselves to... There are such great opportunities regardless if it is the Army, Coast Guard, Navy, Air Force or Marines to make lifetime friends and experiences that it would be a shame to discourage such a thought. You can fund a great college education in a job where you would never hear a weapon fired or a bomb dropped even if you are assigned to a war such as Iraq. Talk to some of those who have returned and you will find few that have experienced violence first hand.

I would recommend active duty and for you to go along and perhaps see Europe or the Far East... if not during the active duty time then on vacation time... You can ride absolutely free (maybe $15.00) to Japan or Frankfurt Germany while you or your husband is on active duty. I traveled to Europe and Asia several round trips absolutly free on military hops not to mention all across the US on standby military flights. Layovers at Dover DE in on base motel cost $8.00 a night as I waited a day for a free seat to fly thousands of miles.

Encourage him!

[LiberalNation]

They tried to get something for free and got called to ante up.

Again, they KNEW there was a chance of getting deployed because it's explained to them not only by their counselors, but the MEPS staff.

Then there's the fact that NO ONE currently enlisted on active duty has not had the chance to get out if they wanted to. Most reserve contracts are 4 X 4 or 6 X 2. We've been at war since 2001. Do the math.
I know. It might be their own fault but that doesn't make it any happier a situation on the personal level.

[nevadamedic]

Ok, this is what he was telling us. He has specialty training in something (i can't remember what) and he got called up because of it.

And the same thing with the bonus. We were told it depends on what choices are made at time of enlisting.

I know it sounds like we are going into this lightly, but we are not. The things I mentioned are not coming across how I was thinking them, so how it is being read is not what I was thinking.

The whole 'looks good in a uniform' thing is a positive spin on what will be a very hard time for me with his being gone for more than a few days. I know I will get through it one day at a time, but little things like this make it easier for me to deal with the absence and this HUGE change in our lives, even if none of you understand that.

He has always wanted to enlist, but has never really had the guts to do it until now, from what he has told me, because of his dad. His dad really talks down military service (except when he tells his Vietnam stories, which I think are only half true to begin with). He did consider enlisting after high school, but that was back when he was able to be persuaded more by his parents instead of doing what he felt he wanted. Thus he tried to find other ways to get as close as he could without enlisting, and reading all he could get his hands on. Yeah, it isn't the same as the real thing, but it was as close as he was gonna get at that point. He started talking about enlisting over 6 months ago, and it just kind of snowballed to actually seriously looking into it just recently when we were talking about career options for him, so it isn't a new development. I believe it will be his true-to-heart interest in it all and desire to learn anything new will be part of what will keep him going through some of the hard parts.

And I am sure we are not the first couple to already have established a family before enlisting.

Also keep in mind the situations we are facing now. There will be a good chance we will still be in Afganistan and Iraq when he is done with his Basic and Advanced training. Also if you look at things escilating with Iran and Korea, you have to be open to the possibility of a potential war with them and I guarantee if that happens then I guarantee that people will be getting activated no matter what job and that will be a very dangerous war.

Also find out(not from a recruiter) about deployment but they generally deploy the whole unit or company not just one or two people or even a squad.

Also with your husband's work you have to make sure if he is deployed that he will still have a job when he returns if he is activated.

Does he have any interest in Law Enforcement? If he does look at the Coast Guard or the Navy. They do a lot of drug enforcement. Also with the Coast Guard they do search and rescue, construction, rescue swimming and engineering etc. He could even get trained to be a captain so he could captain civilian vessels, cruise ships etc. Also the Coast Guard doesn't really get deployed overseas. I know the reserve unit in Lake Tahoe they just do search and rescue and patrol the Lake. I also have a friend who is in the Air National Guard and he actually went full time and he is a Military Police officer which he enjoys. During his two weeks a year he goes to a training base and they basically play wargames with Laser Tag type equipment. He was offered and accepted a good paying job with the Washoe County Sheriff's Department within 3 months of completing his Advanced Training. They said they prefer to hire people from the Coast Guard or other military police companies over people off the street anyday and they started him a lot higher then the standard entry level pay and he didn't have to work in the jail first, almost everyone hired have to spend up to five years in the jail before they can hit the street. You can also join the reserves with the Sheriff's Department with this training as well.

[LiberalNation]

His dad really talks down military service (except when he tells his Vietnam stories, which I think are only half true to begin with). He did consider enlisting after high school, but that was back when he was able to be persuaded more by his parents instead of doing what he felt he wanted.
Hmmmmm.................trying very hard not to be down on someone I don't know.

If I really want something I go out and try to make it happen regardless of what others including my parents may think. I have a lot of respect for my parents and don't want to disappoint them per say but I have to live my own and live with the choices I make for it's entirety.

Do you know how hard I had to fight to get them to let me move up here on my own. Its work out well, I handle what needs to be handled and then fill them in.

[Gunny]

I know. It might be their own fault but that doesn't make it any happier a situation on the personal level.

Probably not. I hated deploying. I REALLY hated deploying during the First Gulf War.

But I signed on the dotted line and gave my word, so I did what I signed up to do. If you can't look at it that way, don't do it.

[KitchenKitten99]

Also keep in mind the situations we are facing now. There will be a good chance we will still be in Afganistan and Iraq when he is done with his Basic and Advanced training. Also if you look at things escilating with Iran and Korea, you have to be open to the possibility of a potential war with them and I guarantee if that happens then I guarantee that people will be getting activated no matter what job and that will be a very dangerous war.

Uh, duh. That was one of the first things we talked about. One of the most controversial wars with the whole troop surge is not something that goes unmentioned when conversing about recruiting. What do you take us for, retards?




Also with your husband's work you have to make sure if he is deployed that he will still have a job when he returns if he is activated.
By federal law, they have to keep his place and salary at what it is for up to 2 years (their choice if longer) for any military-related absences. I would think you would know this.


Does he have any interest in Law Enforcement? If he does look at the Coast Guard or the Navy. They do a lot of drug enforcement. Also with the Coast Guard they do search and rescue, construction, rescue swimming and engineering etc. He could even get trained to be a captain so he could captain civilian vessels, cruise ships etc. Also the Coast Guard doesn't really get deployed overseas. I know the reserve unit in Lake Tahoe they just do search and rescue and patrol the Lake. I also have a friend who is in the Air National Guard and he actually went full time and he is a Military Police officer which he enjoys. During his two weeks a year he goes to a training base and they basically play wargames with Laser Tag type equipment. He was offered and accepted a good paying job with the Washoe County Sheriff's Department within 3 months of completing his Advanced Training. They said they prefer to hire people from the Coast Guard or other military police companies over people off the street anyday and they started him a lot higher then the standard entry level pay and he didn't have to work in the jail first, almost everyone hired have to spend up to five years in the jail before they can hit the street. You can also join the reserves with the Sheriff's Department with this training as well.
You keep pushing these. Why? He knows what he wants to do, and I have already mentioned it. He is looking for heavy equipment operation (crane, bulldozer, etc) or possibly heavy vehicle/machinery repair and maintenence or something similar. Something he can take skills back with him to his current job he's at now, and add something to his resume should he ever want to (or have to) do something else.

If he had any interest in law enforcement, he would have gone the route for that long ago.

[KitchenKitten99]

Hmmmmm.................trying very hard not to be down on someone I don't know.

If I really want something I go out and try to make it happen regardless of what others including my parents may think. I have a lot of respect for my parents and don't want to disappoint them per say but I have to live my own and live with the choices I make for it's entirety.

Do you know how hard I had to fight to get them to let me move up here on my own. Its work out well, I handle what needs to be handled and then fill them in.

If you ever spent time with his parents, you would understand. I love them and they are great for the most part... but they have this selfish (almost sadistic) need to control or be the bigger influence on him than me, and everything he does. His mom is VERY MUCH like Marie in "Everybody Loves Raymond"-almost identical. When she doesn't want him to do something, she'll take any opportunity to tell him so. It caused a few problems for us early in our relationship and about a year into our marriage, but it is better now since he started to wise up, with the help of other people pointing out the same things I do, about the issues with his parents being so manipulative and controlling.

They are the ones we are going to have a hard time telling about this. We know they will have much to say against it, and will try to talk him out of it, and he has assured me he will not back down with this, like he did 10 years ago. We have all summer, and some of fall to figure it out. He plans on enlisting around October, maybe earlier, depending on when they would want him to start Basic.

[KitchenKitten99]

My husband's closest military experience thus far:

He attends every year, and is currently saving up to go again this year.
http://www.ddayadventurepark.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=60&Itemid=4

[Mr. P]

My husband's closest military experience thus far:

He attends every year, and is currently saving up to go again this year.
http://www.ddayadventurepark.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=60&Itemid=4

Speechless....:rolleyes:

Maybe it has to do with the cold winters?

[KitchenKitten99]

Speechless....:rolleyes:

Maybe it has to do with the cold winters?

wow.
ya know what...

I don't need this.

[Mr. P]

wow.
ya know what...

I don't need this.

But yer here...soooo...You do..

Can't wait for yer next personal catastrophic must solve event.

Sorry Fuz, yer a drama queen. :slap: